If there are two takeaways from this week, they are as follows: Heather sleeps naked, John does not. Does this information have anything to do with John's puppy, the half marathon he ran, teen independence, or the last couple weeks of Heather's book tour? No. And, honestly, it's not even related.
What do book tours and bandaids have in common? A lot. It's sort of like the relationship between diarrhea and a week of stressful schedule juggling. You know, peas and carrots, poop and planes. We also talk a bit about puppies, but let's be honest: The Valedictorian deserves the mic this week.
Heather hits the road next week for her book tour, so of course we talked about misplaced socks, pantyhose, and toxic plastics that make their way into cosmetics. But we also talked about her book - The Valedictorian of Being Dead - which comes out on April 23. John says, “It’s a hell of a read.” Because it is.
At least 75% of this episode is about dogs and puppies and the horrors of pet ownership because John is a dog person now. Why? Honestly, he has no idea, but his hands are covered in bite marks, he's tired all the time, and his life is now even less his own. So, yeah, Heather was right: It's worse than having a baby.
Renovations, broken boilers, puppies, and John's resistance to help even when it's generously offered. It's all loosely related. And somehow we still manage to touch on teenage emotions near the end because we're making rambling an art form.
It’s Spring Break. We could’ve easily talked about the woes of that for an hour. However, we still managed to discuss university selection, unfair expectations placed on teens, and career choices. In other words, we don’t get a Spring Break.
Wandering tangents seem to be the way of things around here lately. This week it's James Blake, the joy of celebrity interaction, Marlo's public speaking finesse, and The Legend of Zelda. But don't worry, that's only a fraction of what we covered, so it's still your weekly dose of, "What the hell was that about?"
We're ringing in the time change in style. As always. Moderate injury, serious fever, and a healthy dose of feeling all together a little off have marked the last week or two. Also, a friendly reminder that if you're suddenly feeling a surge in anxiety or depression, the time change has a way of contributing to that. It's not just you.
Why do people looking their absolute best have to be the ones who see you at your absolute worst? We don't have an answer, but that's just what happens. Every time. Even when someone has to navigate a camera to your colon. Life has jokes, and Heather was just the butt of one of them. Like, actually the butt. At least True Detective is good.
Heather has a newsletter and some GI business to attend to. John has a newsletter and perfectly functioning bowels. Some things just aren’t fair, that’s why there’s Miralax. #notsponsored
Yeah, we spiraled again, but we also found ourselves looking back at how we were raised and how those experiences affect our parenting today. Less “get off our lawn” and more about what we want our kids to experience. Also, Leta turned 21. Maybe these spirals are more productive than we thought?
How did we get from A to B? Your guess is as good as ours. But it's not our fault that audiobooks, Mormon mission trips, forgetful teens, the weather, and black eyes are all related. Life is weird. We just go with it.
After John's extended fanboy moment about Heather's book (side note: It's incredible and you want to read it and probably give a copy to everyone you know), we're talking a little bit about teens, growing to emotionally process increasing responsibility, and the importance of attending funerals. We're pretty sure it all fits together.
It's winter and the weather is awful and life keeps plowing forward. So, naturally, in the thick of this mess John is sort of possibly dabbling in the dating world and OH WOW IS THAT A THING. He's bad at it? Maybe? Only one way to go from here?
We’re talking about insurance again. And mental health. And the absurdity of dealing with medical needs in the US. Why? Because it needs to be talked about until it changes and we’re happy to initiate the conversation.
Bullying has always been a problem, but technology is creating new platforms and increasingly removed ways to hate and harm. Spurred by a jarring episode involving Marlo, we’re talking about bullying, emotions, and the way judgment and blame continue to shape a generation.
Another year and you know what? We're excited for it (even John). Sure, we're getting older and keeping blood pressure journals, but that's life. As long as there are no formal parties with dress codes in the near future, we're downright optimistic.
OH MY GOD. Are we whining about the holidays? No, not really. Just marveling at the passage of time and the value of hiring movers while catching our breath. We also spend a surprising amount of time talking about breakfast cereal.
It's official. John is a home owner! And his relationship status? That's permanently established via legal documents. Super awesome. Regardless, this is a big step. And Heather? Well, she's helping her mom move, nursing a stubbornness injury, and contemplating mortality. Life is wild.
(We now understand that “A Single Man” indicates that the property is not a marital asset. However, why the fuck that wasn’t TYPED into the document, why the fuck they had to HAND WRITE that right behind his name? SO PETTY.)
What happened this week? What day is it? Just kidding, we never really know. Between high-school dances, holiday gifts, packing, and ironing sheets (there's always time for that), everything is a blur. Unless you're Leta, and you're making a 10-year plan.